Love is worth it

Please tell me why it is safe to have just anybody walking into my house? Aren’t they suppose to give me a warning before they show up? Sheesh. I mean i’m glad i was home, but still. It was just ackward.. wasn’t dressed for my day at all, the house was a mess and there were cats everywhere..ahh..

Oh well. i guess it’s really not that big of a deal but if it had been Paul that just randomly showed up, that was going to be a problem. Anyway on to a happier note.

I have a 3 day weekend which i NEVER get and honestly couldn’t tell you why i have it either, but trust me i am glad. I could use a break from work and even though i still have school stuff to do it’ll still be nice not being stuck there all weekend. I can stay up late, I can sleep in, I can have the whole weekend with my boo, idk it’s just nice I’m learning to let go of my stress just a little bit, probably only because i have my week vacation coming up.. I’m sure once it’s over it’ll be back to the stressing and normal life stuff that i can’t afford. Note to self, make a list of things you owe & put it aside so you can work on paying it off… BLAH>

Another note.. i’m happy, even though i have no reason to feel happy, i do.. so we’ll just go with that.

So i get a 3 day weekend finally and I am thrilled. Also thrilled that i get to see my parents this weekend..hopefully, if they don’t bail on me. I understand my dad doesn’t like driving, i don’t either – so i would never force him to come see me, but there are other ways.. like the train? Idk, I just really want to see my mama..

On school news? Yeah.. I failed the one class. I knew i would.. :/ I’m not too happy about it, but it was also my own fault so i have no one to blame but myself, of course. The other class hasn’t turned in grades yet, but they’re due by Sunday so i imagine i’ll find out soon what that grade is – that one shouldn’t be TOO bad, at least it should still be passing..fingers crossed. Idk what i did to screw up school so badly.. idk why i stopped caring? Is it because it got difficult? Is it because I actually started having a life and working a lot more? I just don’t know! I want all my straight A’s again..school wasn’t ALWAYS a struggle for me. In case, i really need to start changing that and start to focus more and go back to all straight A’s, i know i can do it! Mondays starts my next set of classes.. and then i have 2 more added in june. ahhh. what was i thinking? But i did it once before AND got all A’s so i know i can do it again, I just need to prove it to myself.. something positive has to happen in my life when the rest of it is just plain stress.

The landlord never fixed our leaking pipes, and the tub, as i was 100% right is filled with water because of the crack in it and everything. I knew i was right.. but I’m a new tenet and the last thing i want to do is annoy the heck out of this guy. So.. I’m going to see what it coasts to get the tub & pipe fixed and just see if i can do it on my own, if i end up waiting five months, cause i can tell you right now, i won’t wait five months. I also am thinking about what to do with our living situation.. do I want to keep this house, do i want to get a completely different house.. do i want to build my own house.. I’m completely unsure. Chris is leaving the decision up to me & he already told me his two sense but ugh.. no option seems possible right now really. & I’m not sure i want to rent the rest of my life either…

Someday’s i just have to keep reminding myself that i’m only 19 and I don’t need to be 30 yet..

& i also have to remember that no matter what the situation.. LOVE IS ALWAYS WORTH IT.

It feels so nice to be home today. SO NICE. but I am so exhausted.. i literally have done nothing all day and i’m so tired i couldn’t even begin to tell you. Not to mention still stressed about school.. i kind of keep blocking it out of my mind

Watching spongebob currently and that makes me happy but i really just want to nap. Anyway.. I’m probably going to go blog hunting cause there isn’t much else for me to focus on. Apparently, we’re going to be having the plumber guy come fix our pipes, i feel annoying having to keep calling the landlord but ahhhh… He kinda was pushy on the phone today, but all I wanted to know was about the lock box and whether or not i should mail the rent, which i hate having to do, cuase it just scares me.. mailing that stuff, but w/e. Fingers crossed that nothing happens.. and that all things go smoothly. Justin must really not be feeling good because he is still passed out, so is matt but i think thats because matt went to sleep at like 8am… oyeeee. i wish the boys would do something with their lives, of course, if i didn’t have a job or a reason to be awake, i would sleep all day too. i also need to return the library, i really can’t forget, i don’t even know when theyre due back, i hope like not soon, i hope chris really did renew them.. i should probably check that. This is basically the most pointless blog post ever, but ohwell. who cares. ahhhhhhh. okay, i’m going to go find something more productive to do

quick update..
i honestly.. am probably going to fail out of college.. cause i’m not going to turn in this 10 page paper thats worth a 100 points i believe, and i already have a C-
fuck.
i also need to pay kyle for this domain.. NOTE TO SELF> i am behind on payments haha.

uhhh.. tired. fuck this, going to bed. goooodnight.

I don’t know what it is, but i just hate being cold. HATE IT. I don’t like being too hot either, but if i had to choose, i would choose between being too warm over being too cold. Needless to say.. I’m not a big fan of having all our windows open, just like my dog. For some reason my dog despises having our windows open in the new house.. even when the wind isn’t so bad. I can’t figure it out? However, I am glad that it’s just the windows and that I didn’t have to take her to a 24/7 vet clinic. It’s not that i don’t want to make sure she is healthy, I just have to have the money for it first. I know it doesn’t make J too happy that I have to leave the windows closed, but brrrr! I can barely feel my fingers, and i hate when that happens. Anyway.. Life is good, I have the next few days off from work, so I plan on getting all my school work done either today or tomorrow, that way I still have Thursday to do w/e with. I got more  of / most of our stuff into the house again, yay.. It’s being filled up rather quickly and I look at the house and I’m like.. jeez.. how did we EVER fit all of this stuff in such a small apartment.. I mean, our apartment wasn’t that small, but the space is more spread out in the house it definitely looks better than our apartment ever did. I am still sad to be leaving our apartment, but honestly, I’m sad because this means i won’t have a ride home from work until matt gets one of his cars up and running & to have to sit at work for 2 hours, maybe more, without anything to do but stare at your phone, is horrible… it’s just horrible, especially, when people are nosy and ask why you don’t drive and so on.. Thought about changing my hours from 7-4 to 8-5 so that way i work basically the exact same shift as chris.. & that’s fine and all, but the reason i haven’t done it yet, is because i mostly work 7-3, even though i can work till 4, usually 7 hours is the type of shift they give me & i like getting out at 3pm, i have sooo much more of my day, and can do anything i want this way.. plus, i then can do all my class work in the evenings. Not to mention in Holland, any important place like DMV or doctors offices and recycling places, yeah, they all close at 4pm. This means, nothing like that can get done if it needs to be done, because we both get off at 5, we would have to request off time and blahhhhh. AHHHH. so for now, I guess i deal with sitting at work for 2 hours or more, until chris gets off. There’s always reading.. but at 6am, i have to remember to grab the book before i walk out the door.. that’s the difficult part. Or just you know, put books on my phone, which i need money for and blahh.

Enough of that.

Anywho, aside from that life has been really good Keep your fingers crossed that things keep getting better….

So happy to be home for the next 24 hours

I think my blog is officially done. I chose some good layouts, and did a lot of editing, and until i can afford to purchase my own physical layout, I think this one will do. Obviously i did a lot of editing to the original. I like it a lot, but knowing me and blogs I’ll probably change it again soon.

Anyway.. My life, onward with that i guess?

We’re officially making the house ours this Friday, I am excited but also stressed to the max… Nothing new there. Then we’ll be seeing my mom on Easter. Which..I WAS all excited for and couldn’t wait to see them.. but they keep telling me, that they don’t want me to waste the money, which i totally understand but we have other reason’s for going out there..so we’re going. The other downfall was my dad being extremely angry at me, If he’s still mad at me when we go.. well.. i’m not looking forward to it to say the least. My dad can hold in his anger for EVER, I’m hoping that it’s just one of those things that he lets go of.. it would be nice to see him on Easter and have him NOT be mad at me. But..we shall see i guess.

I’m just trying to stay excited and happy about the changes that are coming in my life. However… with this storm happening right now, my outlook isn’t all sunny & happy.

-love is worth it.

I settled on this one theme for now. Too tired and annoyed to continue my search. Life has been..well.. life. Still in the process of moving , the house is officially ours this friday. yay. & i get to see my mom soon. andddd.. im hungry but everybody else is grumpy. well.. yeah.

I thought i was in a blogging mood but im tired now. next time..

My blog layout really needs to be changed.. but i want it to look amazing you know? Work in progress.